Hackfest - Level UP

Nearly 10 years ago, Johnny quit full-time penetration testing out of sheer boredom. The repetitive nature of finding the same systemic problems at company after company made the gigs not only a cure for insomnia, but also exceptionally frustrating to someone who cares deeply about security.Now he’s back, and wow, is he pissed about what he found. Join him as he rants about the biggest (and most actionable) things Large Enterprises are still doing wrong from a cybersecurity perspective, and presents basic frameworks for fixing them!

In this talk, Johnny Xmas (Global Head of Offensive Security) walks through:

• Why your risk register is a graveyard of zombie acceptances with no expiration date
• Why you don't actually have an asset inventory (you have a spreadsheet graveyard)
• Why your identity perimeter is blurry by design — and how that becomes Midnight Blizzard's entry point
• Why vendor risk is theater backed by questionnaires from salespeople
• Why you bought expensive controls that don't detect anything because you skipped the 80% of the work that matters

And the kicker: actionable takeaways you can do RIGHT NOW.

This talk is for security leaders, architects, and anyone who's tired of the annual "we need better security" deck that solves nothing. Expect irreverence, real examples, and a hard look at why the same breaches keep happening.