Cybersecurity professionals are facing an often invisible but deeply damaging crisis: disconnection. In a world shaped by remote work, constant threat pressure, and an ever-growing digital attack surface, we’ve lost more than just our perimeter—we’ve lost our sense of belonging. This talk explores how rebuilding third places—those informal social spaces outside of work and home—can restore connection, purpose, and resilience to individuals and teams alike.

Drawing from decades of research in sociology, psychology, and public health, we’ll examine how the decline of in-person community engagement has left many of us more isolated, anxious, and burned out. Loneliness has been shown to carry health risks on par with smoking or obesity. It diminishes productivity, erodes collaboration, and silently undermines the well-being of security professionals across the industry—especially among those already prone to social isolation, such as neurodivergent individuals.

Through storytelling, personal experience, and hard data, we’ll explore how community involvement boosts not just happiness, but everything from educational outcomes to government functionality, crime reduction, and organizational performance. We’ll look at how social capital—the trust, reciprocity, and support that come from being in community—can make or break the resilience of security teams. And we’ll ask: What happens when practitioners stop showing up—not just in the SOC, but in each other’s lives?

You’ll hear how one cybersecurity leader found his footing by engaging in third places like hacker meetups, user groups, and local cons—spaces where he went from outsider to insider, from burned out to lit up. From Chicago’s ChiSec and BurbSec meetups to the founding of kid-focused hacker events, this talk shows how the simple act of showing up can create a spark that lights up entire communities.

But the burden isn’t just on individuals. Security leaders play a critical role in creating cultures of connection inside their organizations. We’ll explore practical strategies for recognizing signs of disconnection, fostering psychological safety, and empowering “connectors” on your team—those quiet heroes who build bridges and bring people together. We’ll discuss how to support third-place engagement, both inside and outside the workplace, as a way to drive not just mental health—but innovation, retention, and collaboration.

This talk closes with a call to action: Start small. Reach out. Join a group. Show up for someone else. Whether you're building community within cybersecurity or branching out to other areas of your life—like running clubs, gaming groups, or community gardens—these small moves have a big impact.

Because in cybersecurity—and in life—we don’t just need more defenses.
We need more connection.
We need more places where we feel like we belong.
And we need more people willing to say, “You’re not alone.”

Talk Outline: The Importance of Being in Third Place
1. Introduction
Set the stage: the hidden crisis of loneliness in cybersecurity
Define the concept of a third place (not home, not work, but a social anchor)
Personal tone and grounding: why this topic matters to you and our industry

1. The Decline of Third Places
   Societal shift since the 1960s: fewer clubs, groups, informal gatherings
   Statistics: decline in close friendships, PTA participation, group involvement
   Health consequences: loneliness on par with smoking or obesity
   Online interaction ≠ meaningful connection

2. Loneliness in Cybersecurity
   Why cyber professionals are particularly vulnerable:
   Neurodivergence (ADHD, autism)
   Outsider identities
   Solitary nature of the work
   Emotional and cognitive toll of persistent isolation

3. Research on Social Capital & Belonging
   Overview of Robert Putnam’s findings on civic engagement
   Benefits of high social capital:
   Better government, lower crime, less corruption
   Stronger economies, education, and health
   Social networks as predictors of survivability and happiness

4. What Social Capital Looks Like in Cyber
   Team dynamics: trust, support, resilience
   Without social capital: burnout, turnover, program failure
   Informal interactions build real workplace strength

5. Personal Journey to Community
   Early career and first exposure to community (Snort Group, ISSA)
   Discovery of hacker cons and Chicago community (ChiSec, BurbSec)
   Growth of meetups: formula for success
   Consistency, accessibility, hospitality, and welcoming culture
   Tangible impact: job connections, friendships, mental well-being

6. Leadership’s Role in Rebuilding Connection
   How leaders can foster connection:
   Recognize signals of disconnection
   Normalize check-ins and support rituals
   Encourage informal and affinity group interactions
   Supporting external engagement:
   Let people attend meetups
   Encourage participation during work hours
   Value connectors who foster cohesion

7. Organizational Benefits
   Community-building improves retention, satisfaction, and innovation
   Strong culture attracts top talent
   Dynamic workforces are born from strong personal connections

8. Taking the First Step
   Small, actionable takeaways:
   Spend 15 minutes reaching out
   Help one person a day
   Prioritize face-to-face time
   Cybersecurity as an ideal starting point for community-building
   Familiarity, shared language, low entry barriers

9. Beyond Cybersecurity
   Expand into passions beyond your profession
   Examples: running clubs, gardens, gaming, art, etc.
   Create a third place—and a fourth and fifth

10. Final Call to Action
    Communities start with showing up—and welcoming others
    End with a message of hope, responsibility, and shared belonging